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Telephone Keypad Order
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/23/2013
Why are telephone keypads in numeric ascending order, left to right, and calculator keypads in descending order, right to left? Is there a logical explanation here? Wouldn’t it be easier on all of us, particularly the blind, if they were the same?
———- from Rico of Boulder, CO
Sure, it would be easier, but that wouldn’t be the American way. If this were China or the old Soviet Union, not only would calculator buttons all have the same configuration, but there would be only one model of calculator, the People’s Calculator Number One. It would housed in a gray metal case roughly the size of a telephone book and weigh at least ten pounds. In America, we have hundreds of different calculator choices, all different. Who knows, they might even give different results for the same data? That’s what we call “diversity,” and it’s all the rage nowadays.
Sure, it would be easier, but that wouldn’t be the American way. If this were China or the old Soviet Union, not only would calculator buttons all have the same configuration, but there would be only one model of calculator, the People’s Calculator Number One. It would housed in a gray metal case roughly the size of a telephone book and weigh at least ten pounds. In America, we have hundreds of different calculator choices, all different. Who knows, they might even give different results for the same data? That’s what we call “diversity,” and it’s all the rage nowadays. Modem Mystics
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/21/2013
I seem to habitually have a great deal of difficulty sending and receiving e-mail. Sometimes the web browser will work just fine, but the e-mail program won’t. Sometimes my computer will log off only seconds after I’ve logged on. What’s going on?
———- from Oak O’Conner of Santa Monica, CA
If you were a better person, none of this would be happening. Truly good people never experience any kind of computer problems, much less e-mail log jams. They say that certain mystics can send e-mail without a computer. They just think a thought and it zips across the internet like nobody’s business. Researchers think their modems are highly developed parts of their medullas, using a microwave interface located just behind the nose. Every time they sneeze, the internet freezes up for a few seconds. Fortunately, these mystics are few and far between. Hope I’ve answered your question.
If you were a better person, none of this would be happening. Truly good people never experience any kind of computer problems, much less e-mail log jams. They say that certain mystics can send e-mail without a computer. They just think a thought and it zips across the internet like nobody’s business. Researchers think their modems are highly developed parts of their medullas, using a microwave interface located just behind the nose. Every time they sneeze, the internet freezes up for a few seconds. Fortunately, these mystics are few and far between. Hope I’ve answered your question. 8th Grade Science Experiments
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/07/2013
Do you know of any good science experiments for an eighth grader???
———- from Nick Verboom of Hamilton, MT
Have you thought about one of those paper mache volcanoes with vinegar and baking soda inside to make it erupt? Or how about the different stages of chick embryo development inside common hen’s eggs? All you have to do for that one is glue an egg to a piece of construction paper, and then attach pieces of yarn to different drawings you copied out of some book. Be sure to use colored pencils. Or you could get really daring and illustrate human reproduction using Barbie and Ken dolls. Make sure they’re legally married first, in case there’s a problem with community standards.
Have you thought about one of those paper mache volcanoes with vinegar and baking soda inside to make it erupt? Or how about the different stages of chick embryo development inside common hen’s eggs? All you have to do for that one is glue an egg to a piece of construction paper, and then attach pieces of yarn to different drawings you copied out of some book. Be sure to use colored pencils. Or you could get really daring and illustrate human reproduction using Barbie and Ken dolls. Make sure they’re legally married first, in case there’s a problem with community standards. Women and Glasses
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/05/2013
Why, on the show “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?”, did Velma–ordinarily an extremely bright person–become stupid the instant her glasses fell off?
———- from Joseph Nebus of Troy, NY
Women are just like that. Do you remember the original version of the Nutty Professor, where Jerry Lewis’ lab assistant had her hair up and was wearing thick glasses? When she let her hair down and took off those glasses, well, you would have thought she was Marilyn Monroe, or Jayne Mansfield, or Mamie Van Doren. At least in show business, women are either smart or sexy, there’s no in between. Scooby Doo is a form of show business. A highly rudimentary form, but then the Nutty Professor wasn’t exactly Sense and Sensibility.
Women are just like that. Do you remember the original version of the Nutty Professor, where Jerry Lewis’ lab assistant had her hair up and was wearing thick glasses? When she let her hair down and took off those glasses, well, you would have thought she was Marilyn Monroe, or Jayne Mansfield, or Mamie Van Doren. At least in show business, women are either smart or sexy, there’s no in between. Scooby Doo is a form of show business. A highly rudimentary form, but then the Nutty Professor wasn’t exactly Sense and Sensibility. Gas From Food
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/02/2013
Hi, I’m doing a science experiment for the science fair at school. I am trying to produce gas from four foods. I ground each of the following in a food processor: dry and frozen navy beans; fresh & frozen yellow turnips; fresh cabbage and canned sauerkraut. I put all these in a separate test tubes and added one tablespoon of water to each. I then added 1/8 tsp. of yeast to every other tube so that I had one tube with each food mixed with just water and one with water and yeast. I then put a balloon over the top of each tube to trap any gases produced. It has been 48 hr. and no gas has been produced. Will they produce any gas? have I done something wrong?
———- from Tosha Tripp of grade 7, Windsor Ontario, Canada
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ve loused everything possible up to a point that you should just give up. Have you thought of library science or one of the social sciences? The pay is lousy and the work is boring, but you might be able to get into a low ranking graduate school.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ve loused everything possible up to a point that you should just give up. Have you thought of library science or one of the social sciences? The pay is lousy and the work is boring, but you might be able to get into a low ranking graduate school. 