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Escalator Handrail Speed
Posted by Dr. Science on 07/31/2013
Why do the handrails on escalators move faster than the steps?
———- from Roger Pate of Leeds, West Yorkshire, England, UK
Handrails and escalators are two different kinds of reptiles. The common escalator is actually a crocodile, an African form of the American alligator. After being painlessly euthenized, it’s coated with a stiffener and put to work as a people mover at an airport or as an escalator at a department store or office building. The railings are usually made from rubberized boa constrictors or, in newer installations, compressed nightcrawlers. As Shuggy Otis, inventor of both the elevator and escalator used to say, nothing moves dead quite so well as something that slithered when alive.
Handrails and escalators are two different kinds of reptiles. The common escalator is actually a crocodile, an African form of the American alligator. After being painlessly euthenized, it’s coated with a stiffener and put to work as a people mover at an airport or as an escalator at a department store or office building. The railings are usually made from rubberized boa constrictors or, in newer installations, compressed nightcrawlers. As Shuggy Otis, inventor of both the elevator and escalator used to say, nothing moves dead quite so well as something that slithered when alive. Computer Firewalls
Posted by Dr. Science on 07/29/2013
On the Internet, I’ve heard references to the phrase “firewall”. What is a firewall and will it actually burn me or my computer?
———- from R.Chambers of Valencia, CA
For many years, asbestos was the substance of choice when it came to fire protection. The unhappy product of mating between fabric and rock, asbestos was shown to the carcinogenic and was quickly removed from the market. This left the task of fire prevention to public service announcements featuring Smoky the Bear and the prohibition of indoor smoking. The computer industry, however, fared much better. Since everything used by computers is virtual, asbestos could still be used, because there it would only be virtually carcinogenic. So most computer firewalls are still made of asbestos, and are virtually inflammable, as well as entirely illusory.
For many years, asbestos was the substance of choice when it came to fire protection. The unhappy product of mating between fabric and rock, asbestos was shown to the carcinogenic and was quickly removed from the market. This left the task of fire prevention to public service announcements featuring Smoky the Bear and the prohibition of indoor smoking. The computer industry, however, fared much better. Since everything used by computers is virtual, asbestos could still be used, because there it would only be virtually carcinogenic. So most computer firewalls are still made of asbestos, and are virtually inflammable, as well as entirely illusory. Clarinet Sounds
Posted by Dr. Science on 07/26/2013
In the “New Harvard Dictionary of Music” a statement is made that theClarinet plays (or acts) as a stopped-pipe resonator. It actually sounds anoctave lower than one would expect. It is similar in length to a flute orsoprano sax but sounds an octave lower. Can you explain why the clarinetsounds as a stopped-pipe as opposed to the flute or sax which sound as openpipes?
———- from Glynn Furr ofCary, NC
As anyone who’s ever heard Prokoviev’s “Peter and the Wolf” knows, the clarinet is actually a fossilized cat. Flutes are fossilized birds. Some birds are as big as cats, but they’re still birds and therefore make a comparatively high pitched or, scientifically speaking, “Tweaty” noise compared to a clarinet, or cat. The term “stopped pipe” refers to a bird caught in the cat’s throat. Probably the cat was nabbed by instrument makers before he could finish chewing his meal. They make most musical instruments in other countries, where there are no animal protection laws.
As anyone who’s ever heard Prokoviev’s “Peter and the Wolf” knows, the clarinet is actually a fossilized cat. Flutes are fossilized birds. Some birds are as big as cats, but they’re still birds and therefore make a comparatively high pitched or, scientifically speaking, “Tweaty” noise compared to a clarinet, or cat. The term “stopped pipe” refers to a bird caught in the cat’s throat. Probably the cat was nabbed by instrument makers before he could finish chewing his meal. They make most musical instruments in other countries, where there are no animal protection laws.Boyfriends
Posted by Dr. Science on 07/24/2013
My boyfriend has been in Colorado for almost a year now. What should I do?
———- from Mugwump of Kansas City, Kansas
Your question speaks volumes, mostly about you. If you happen to be one of those twenty-something women who have made finding the right man the center of your existence, then I’ll take this opportunity to warn you…get a life! You can always get a man, but it’s harder to find meaningful work or discover enjoyable outside interests. On the other hand, maybe you are a self-actualized person who is simply stating her availability to a slightly over-the-hill but still basically distinguished and reasonably fit scientist. In that case, let me respond with another question…your place or mine?
Your question speaks volumes, mostly about you. If you happen to be one of those twenty-something women who have made finding the right man the center of your existence, then I’ll take this opportunity to warn you…get a life! You can always get a man, but it’s harder to find meaningful work or discover enjoyable outside interests. On the other hand, maybe you are a self-actualized person who is simply stating her availability to a slightly over-the-hill but still basically distinguished and reasonably fit scientist. In that case, let me respond with another question…your place or mine? Determining IQ
Posted by Dr. Science on 07/22/2013
What is IQ? How is it determined. and how can I find mine out?
———- from Amy Wingo of Liberty, , Missouri
Are you sure you want to know? When I was in sixth grade, they gave me one of those tests and I scored a 69. A somber-faced nun warned me I shouldn’t attend a college preparatory high school. Looking back, I see she was right. An intellect like mine needs to forge his own way in the world, as I have done. But getting back to you, and your IQ…chances are you’ve already been tested several times, though surreptitiously. Remember the time you couldn’t find the down escalator at the department store? How about the time you tried to install that new modem on your computer and ended up having to replace the entire motherboard? Like I said, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.
Are you sure you want to know? When I was in sixth grade, they gave me one of those tests and I scored a 69. A somber-faced nun warned me I shouldn’t attend a college preparatory high school. Looking back, I see she was right. An intellect like mine needs to forge his own way in the world, as I have done. But getting back to you, and your IQ…chances are you’ve already been tested several times, though surreptitiously. Remember the time you couldn’t find the down escalator at the department store? How about the time you tried to install that new modem on your computer and ended up having to replace the entire motherboard? Like I said, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. 