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Cat Baths
Posted by Dr. Science on 11/28/2014
Why does our cat not mind getting a bath in the bathtub, but really hates getting a bath in the sink?
———- from Becky Stikeleather of Black Mountain, NC
Your cat resents your second class treatment of her. She is keenly aware that the sink is for dishes and the bathtub is for bathing. Since you don’t mention why you feel compelled to bath your cat in the sink, I can only surmise that it has to do with instinctual dominance behavior on your part. Much as the alpha ape beats his chest and makes threatening gestures when anyone approaches one of his harem females, so do you force your cat in among the plates, spoons and cereal bowls, in order to show her who’s boss. Just because she doesn’t fight back it doesn’t mean she likes it. Remember the old cat saying ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold.’
Your cat resents your second class treatment of her. She is keenly aware that the sink is for dishes and the bathtub is for bathing. Since you don’t mention why you feel compelled to bath your cat in the sink, I can only surmise that it has to do with instinctual dominance behavior on your part. Much as the alpha ape beats his chest and makes threatening gestures when anyone approaches one of his harem females, so do you force your cat in among the plates, spoons and cereal bowls, in order to show her who’s boss. Just because she doesn’t fight back it doesn’t mean she likes it. Remember the old cat saying ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold.’Fire Dancing
Posted by Dr. Science on 11/26/2014
Why does fire dance its merry dance for me, but burn me when I try to poke it?
———- from Jerry Goldstein of Charleston SC
You must win back fire’s trust. Oh sure, it was easy to be fire’s friend when all it was doing was dancing for you, but now that you’re jabbing it with a stick, displaced feelings of aggression come into play, and you project onto the fire the very feelings you’re acting out. You say you’re from Missouri. That could be the key to solving this dilemma. Go somewhere where people use gas for heating and cooking. Get to know one of those uniform, predictable blue flames. Then, when you’re comfortable around fire, go back to Missouri, hunker down round the fire with Lem, Abner and all the gang, and see if you can take that sense of trust back to Hooterville, or wherever.
You must win back fire’s trust. Oh sure, it was easy to be fire’s friend when all it was doing was dancing for you, but now that you’re jabbing it with a stick, displaced feelings of aggression come into play, and you project onto the fire the very feelings you’re acting out. You say you’re from Missouri. That could be the key to solving this dilemma. Go somewhere where people use gas for heating and cooking. Get to know one of those uniform, predictable blue flames. Then, when you’re comfortable around fire, go back to Missouri, hunker down round the fire with Lem, Abner and all the gang, and see if you can take that sense of trust back to Hooterville, or wherever.Cat Cube
Posted by Dr. Science on 11/24/2014
If you put a cat in a sound-proof, non-transparent, cubic container that also housed a shotgun, and then you allowed a photon to pass through this container at a vertical vector, causing the shotgun to discharge, what would happen to the cat?
———- from Jerry Goldstein of Charleston, SC
She would disassociate, going into a mild sort of catatonic shock that characterizes much of the known world today. Only after you attempted to form an intimate relationship with the cat would you discover that there’s really no one home. If the cat were a veteran, we might call it PTSD; if the cat were a female with literary ambition, we might say she possessed multiple personalities or ‘alters’; if she were a psychic, we would say she was channeling. In any case, that will be one angry cat.
She would disassociate, going into a mild sort of catatonic shock that characterizes much of the known world today. Only after you attempted to form an intimate relationship with the cat would you discover that there’s really no one home. If the cat were a veteran, we might call it PTSD; if the cat were a female with literary ambition, we might say she possessed multiple personalities or ‘alters’; if she were a psychic, we would say she was channeling. In any case, that will be one angry cat.Hugh Downs
Posted by Dr. Science on 11/21/2014
What would you call pure energy with an intelligence?
———- from Master Mind of West Los Angeles, CA
I’d call it Hugh Downs. The man who’s spent more time in front of a TV camera than any other human on earth, Mr. Downs is often voted ‘The person most often mistaken for Durwood Kirby,’ yet he appears weekly with Barbara Walters and doesn’t seem to mind the fact that she’s not Gary Moore. I guess I’m just showing my age by tossing off these references to television’s dark past, but time means nothing to Hugh Downs, who received his doctorate in Gerontology just a few years back. Heck, if you’re going to be broadcasting’s oldest functioning work horse, you might as well study the science of aging in your spare time.
I’d call it Hugh Downs. The man who’s spent more time in front of a TV camera than any other human on earth, Mr. Downs is often voted ‘The person most often mistaken for Durwood Kirby,’ yet he appears weekly with Barbara Walters and doesn’t seem to mind the fact that she’s not Gary Moore. I guess I’m just showing my age by tossing off these references to television’s dark past, but time means nothing to Hugh Downs, who received his doctorate in Gerontology just a few years back. Heck, if you’re going to be broadcasting’s oldest functioning work horse, you might as well study the science of aging in your spare time.Water and Sound Speed
Posted by Dr. Science on 11/19/2014
What is the relationship between the depth of the ocean and the speed of sound?
———- from Jingde Chu of Perth, Australia
As ocean depth increases, temperature decreases. The speed of sound decreases to a certain depth, then increases, offsetting the temperature decrease, until equilibrium is established and nothing has changed. In this way, ocean depth is much like political or economic progress. Much changes for a while, but in the long run, everything is the same and you’re in a little deeper. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get back to where you started, where everything’s the same, only different.
As ocean depth increases, temperature decreases. The speed of sound decreases to a certain depth, then increases, offsetting the temperature decrease, until equilibrium is established and nothing has changed. In this way, ocean depth is much like political or economic progress. Much changes for a while, but in the long run, everything is the same and you’re in a little deeper. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get back to where you started, where everything’s the same, only different.