Laughing Cows

When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?

———- from Greg McVerry of San Francisco, CA

Only if she was drinking milk at the time someone told a joke. The stupider the joke, the greater the force and volume of the effluviant. They say that Wisconsin Public Radio refuses to carry my show just so cows in that most dairy of states will stay on task, and avoid nasal regurgitation. Most cows can’t stand milk. They much prefer a highly carbonated, caffeinated soft drink. Many cows simply refuse to give milk without first drinking a few gallons of the stuff. Often you’ll see a beverage truck parked outside a dairy barn, delivering case after case of sweetend bubbly water that will just end up being snorted onto the hay once the cow realizes the inherent absurdity of her condition.