Running in Public Office

Since being elected to public office, I’ve found that I enjoy running. Problem is, little rocks find their way into my running shoes. I never had this problem before I got involved in politics. What can I do to stop this from happening?

———- from Tom DeWolfe of Bend, OR

Appoint a committee to spend a year studying the problem, then an hire an outside consultant to spend another year reviewing the committee’s findings. Take a year or more to study the consultant’s review of the committee’s work, then put the whole matter on the back burner while you devote all your energies to getting re-elected. Once you’re re-elected, this whole gravel in the running shoe thing will be old business and neither you nor your constituents will have the slightest interest in dredging up something they were bored by four years earlier. If you’re going to take up running, wear huaraches, like the Tarahumara of Northwestern Mexico. The pebbles slip right out while you run and, since they’re made out of old tires, they last forever!