Kernel Psychology
Why do some popcorn kernals pop, while others just lie there on the bottom of the pan?
———- from Dave E. of Grosse Pt. Park, MI
Popcornologists have studied this sort of thing for years now. At first they thought it was heredity, then environment, but now it’s thought that some kernels simply lack the will to live. In psychological terms, they are depressed. No amount of coaxing, heating or shaking the pan can stimulate these gloomy gus kernals to pop. The percentages of non-poppers stay relatively constant, regardless of ancestry or situation. So the next time somebody tries to sell you so-called gourmet popcorn at top dollar, first ask for proof they’re selling you happy, enthusiastic popcorn. If they don’t know what you’re talking about, well, buy your popcorn somewhere else.
Popcornologists have studied this sort of thing for years now. At first they thought it was heredity, then environment, but now it’s thought that some kernels simply lack the will to live. In psychological terms, they are depressed. No amount of coaxing, heating or shaking the pan can stimulate these gloomy gus kernals to pop. The percentages of non-poppers stay relatively constant, regardless of ancestry or situation. So the next time somebody tries to sell you so-called gourmet popcorn at top dollar, first ask for proof they’re selling you happy, enthusiastic popcorn. If they don’t know what you’re talking about, well, buy your popcorn somewhere else. 