Lowest Form of Life
Is the amoeba really the lowest form of life?
———- from Bob Seifert of Glendale, AZ
Of course not. I know I’m risking a lawsuit here, but the lawyer appears to be the lowest form of life. Belonging to the species “Councilus Parasitus,” they are recognized by their perpetual cry, “We’ll sue, we’ll sue.” They have few natural enemies and the country would already be overrun with lawyers if it weren’t for the fact they are cannibalistic. In terms of mating habits, one lawyer builds a nest out of heaps of paper and chirps “merger, merger” hoping to attract another lawyer passing by in a BMW. If one stops, they do a dance, grunting “party of the first part,” then shed their jackets, have a cigarette and take 10% of everything in sight. Then they leave. They don’t even lay eggs, yet every day there are more lawyers. It’s just one of nature’s vast mysteries.
Of course not. I know I’m risking a lawsuit here, but the lawyer appears to be the lowest form of life. Belonging to the species “Councilus Parasitus,” they are recognized by their perpetual cry, “We’ll sue, we’ll sue.” They have few natural enemies and the country would already be overrun with lawyers if it weren’t for the fact they are cannibalistic. In terms of mating habits, one lawyer builds a nest out of heaps of paper and chirps “merger, merger” hoping to attract another lawyer passing by in a BMW. If one stops, they do a dance, grunting “party of the first part,” then shed their jackets, have a cigarette and take 10% of everything in sight. Then they leave. They don’t even lay eggs, yet every day there are more lawyers. It’s just one of nature’s vast mysteries. 
Lawyers reproduce by fission, like other bacteria.