Microwaved Hamsters
If you put a hamster in a microwave oven, would it blow up?
———- from Beavis (R.I.P.) ofMTVland
No, young man, it would “cook,” so to speak, much like a baked potato. As a matter of fact, a microwaved hamster very much resembles a baked potato, both in appearance and taste. In Russia, where microwaves were long used for espionage as much as for cooking, there’s a thriving black market in hamsters, since the Russian vodka demand has driven up the price of potatoes. Some of these hamsters were illegally imported and placed on American tables as part of Russian efforts to “freak out” Americans. So the next time you buy a potato, poke it first to make sure it’s not a rodent. If it squeaks, put it back. And the next time you want a cheap pet, try a potato!
No, young man, it would “cook,” so to speak, much like a baked potato. As a matter of fact, a microwaved hamster very much resembles a baked potato, both in appearance and taste. In Russia, where microwaves were long used for espionage as much as for cooking, there’s a thriving black market in hamsters, since the Russian vodka demand has driven up the price of potatoes. Some of these hamsters were illegally imported and placed on American tables as part of Russian efforts to “freak out” Americans. So the next time you buy a potato, poke it first to make sure it’s not a rodent. If it squeaks, put it back. And the next time you want a cheap pet, try a potato!