Shave Itches
Why does it itch after you shave?
———- from Paul Mulroyan of Melbourne, Australia
Back when I let societal pressure force me into that most unnatural act of scraping a sliver of sharpened steel across my face, I used to suffer from nicks, scrapes, gushing wounds and random itching. Then I got smart. I applied a gel of hydrogen fluoride to my face, and when I regained consciousness, my beard, as well as most of my face, were nowhere to be found. In due time, silicon implants gave me a new face, and a single filament of the miracle fiber Dynel gave me the crisp, glistening beard I sport today. No sir, you couldn’t bribe me into shaving. I’ve evolved beyond it.
Back when I let societal pressure force me into that most unnatural act of scraping a sliver of sharpened steel across my face, I used to suffer from nicks, scrapes, gushing wounds and random itching. Then I got smart. I applied a gel of hydrogen fluoride to my face, and when I regained consciousness, my beard, as well as most of my face, were nowhere to be found. In due time, silicon implants gave me a new face, and a single filament of the miracle fiber Dynel gave me the crisp, glistening beard I sport today. No sir, you couldn’t bribe me into shaving. I’ve evolved beyond it. 