Barking Spiders
What can you tell me about Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders? My cabin is overrun with them. What can I do?
———- from J. Major of Missoula, Montana
Hmm, I doubt if you really have them. Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders are extremely rare. Check again. Count the legs. If they only have four legs, chances are you have Malamutes, which bear a remarkable resemblance to barking spiders, except they’re shorter and aren’t poisonous. Now if they do have eight legs, well, you could be hallucinating. Check for drugs in the your bloodstream or for symptoms of cabin fever. If you do indeed have Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders, I suggest you move. There’s no way to get rid of them. Normally they are quite friendly, but people who ask silly questions of on-line experts drive them into an insane, murderous rage. Good luck – and I hope it’s not too late.
Hmm, I doubt if you really have them. Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders are extremely rare. Check again. Count the legs. If they only have four legs, chances are you have Malamutes, which bear a remarkable resemblance to barking spiders, except they’re shorter and aren’t poisonous. Now if they do have eight legs, well, you could be hallucinating. Check for drugs in the your bloodstream or for symptoms of cabin fever. If you do indeed have Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders, I suggest you move. There’s no way to get rid of them. Normally they are quite friendly, but people who ask silly questions of on-line experts drive them into an insane, murderous rage. Good luck – and I hope it’s not too late. 