Insect Minds
What’s the last thing to go through an insect’s mind before it smashes into your car windshield?
———- from J. North Bunker of Venice, California
By a remarkable coincidence, science has recently shed light on this problem. After a long and diligent search, science located a number of psychic insects. We duct-taped these telepathic six-legged creatures to the hood of a ’62 Studebaker. Then we drove through Wyoming this August at speeds well exceeding the speed limit. Precise and tiny instruments attached to the exoskeleton of the extra-sensory insects then picked up the final thoughts of so-called “normal” insects as they smashed into the windshield. 23% of these final thoughts were “Uh Oh.” Another 22% were “Oops!”, followed by 15% that were simply, “Car!” The 12% of younger insects with dyed hair and odd appearance most often thought “Figures.” The remainder were a hodge-podge including “Hungry,” “Tired”, “Whoa! Big and Shiny,” “Death, where is thy sting?” and “Hey, watch where you’re goi–.”
By a remarkable coincidence, science has recently shed light on this problem. After a long and diligent search, science located a number of psychic insects. We duct-taped these telepathic six-legged creatures to the hood of a ’62 Studebaker. Then we drove through Wyoming this August at speeds well exceeding the speed limit. Precise and tiny instruments attached to the exoskeleton of the extra-sensory insects then picked up the final thoughts of so-called “normal” insects as they smashed into the windshield. 23% of these final thoughts were “Uh Oh.” Another 22% were “Oops!”, followed by 15% that were simply, “Car!” The 12% of younger insects with dyed hair and odd appearance most often thought “Figures.” The remainder were a hodge-podge including “Hungry,” “Tired”, “Whoa! Big and Shiny,” “Death, where is thy sting?” and “Hey, watch where you’re goi–.” 