Men and Women

I don’t undertstand the difference between men and women. I’m about to be engaged, and my future husband’s behavior often mystifies me. Why do men burp in public?

———- from Heather Hutchins of Lawrence, KS

Men periodically enter altered states of consciousness, where the majority of their attention is focused inwardly, on a spot just above the naval. During this trance state, they seem to be thinking about something, but quite often there is simply no one at home. Often they are chewing, a hypnotic motion not unlike a cow working her cud. From an evolutionary standpoint, this behavior is equivalent to the aboriginal “dream time”, where the astral body roams at will. This enable primative hunters to locate game at great distances. When the man comes to, he announces his return to this dimension with a loud burp. So take comfort in the fact that your future mate seems well adapted to at least a neanderthal existence.