Dr. Science’s Pets

Do you own a pet? What kind of pet is it? Is it well trained?

———- from Brad Schnurr of Deerfield, IL

I have Rodney, my research assistant. Most of the time he does what he’s told, and when he doesn’t, the shock collar corrects his random deviation. As for non-human pets, most of them have been reptiles, or amphibians. They make Rodney seem positively warm blooded in comparison. When I was a boy, my parents took us on a Mexican vacation, and it was there, on a beach that I stumbled across a giant sea turtle, laying her eggs. Fortunately, she fit neatly in the trunk of our car, and today she’s queen of the radiation containment pond at the lab.