The Common Cold
I’ve been listening to your public radio show for some years now and noticed that you never sound like you have a cold. What is your cure for the common cold? Can you share it with us or is it a professional secret?
———- from Judy Woollery of Plains, MT
You’re right, Judy. I never have a cold. Not that I didn’t in the past. No, I used to sport a runny nose half the year until I discovered the concoction I drink daily to keep myself immune from any flu bugs. In fact, it keeps me immune from life itself. It’s something so powerful I can’t reveal the formula over the Internet, but I can give you a hint that will put you in the right direction. Take the atomic weight of deuterium, multiply it by the number of chromosomes on your average laboratory rat. Subtract Darwin’s street address and then call that number. It’s an 888 number so there’s no charge to the calling party in the U.S. I’ll be on the other end, filling you in with the specifics. Talk to you then!
You’re right, Judy. I never have a cold. Not that I didn’t in the past. No, I used to sport a runny nose half the year until I discovered the concoction I drink daily to keep myself immune from any flu bugs. In fact, it keeps me immune from life itself. It’s something so powerful I can’t reveal the formula over the Internet, but I can give you a hint that will put you in the right direction. Take the atomic weight of deuterium, multiply it by the number of chromosomes on your average laboratory rat. Subtract Darwin’s street address and then call that number. It’s an 888 number so there’s no charge to the calling party in the U.S. I’ll be on the other end, filling you in with the specifics. Talk to you then! 