Heavenly Welfare
Isn’t “heaven” just another form of welfare?
———- from Timon Tree of Houston, TX
Yes, but it’s a better form of welfare than most recipients experience. Instead of a trailer park or a crowded tenement, you live in sterile condominiums on the edge of suburbia. In place of food stamps, you receive vouchers that enable you to eat for free at a shopping center cafeteria. Your caseworker has been replaced with a perky hospitality host, who acts like a member of the Love Boat crew. A graduate of some New Age positive thinking seminar, he is constantly spouting bland affirmations about your right to fulfillment and happiness. Chances are you’ll end up strangling him, and be transferred to welfare hell, which is a lot like being on welfare right here on earth.
Yes, but it’s a better form of welfare than most recipients experience. Instead of a trailer park or a crowded tenement, you live in sterile condominiums on the edge of suburbia. In place of food stamps, you receive vouchers that enable you to eat for free at a shopping center cafeteria. Your caseworker has been replaced with a perky hospitality host, who acts like a member of the Love Boat crew. A graduate of some New Age positive thinking seminar, he is constantly spouting bland affirmations about your right to fulfillment and happiness. Chances are you’ll end up strangling him, and be transferred to welfare hell, which is a lot like being on welfare right here on earth. 