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Pets on the Internet
Posted by Dr. Science on 10/24/2014
They say that on the Internet, no one can tell if you’re a dog. How many household pets really log on in a given day?
———- from Mark Gorenberg of Emeryville, CA
It depends on the cycle of the moon. Come a full moon, many pets grab the nearest mouse and start clicking. I’ve heard it said that most of the creatures logged on in chat rooms after 10 p.m. are animals, usually domestic pets with an axe to grind. Cats usually use foul language and are the source of much of the call for net regulation. Dogs tend to be much more moderate, loyal, and dull. By the way, the symbol for e mail slobber is ampersand asterisk.
It depends on the cycle of the moon. Come a full moon, many pets grab the nearest mouse and start clicking. I’ve heard it said that most of the creatures logged on in chat rooms after 10 p.m. are animals, usually domestic pets with an axe to grind. Cats usually use foul language and are the source of much of the call for net regulation. Dogs tend to be much more moderate, loyal, and dull. By the way, the symbol for e mail slobber is ampersand asterisk.Brain cells and Web TV
Posted by Dr. Science on 10/22/2014
Which is worse for brain cells, TV or Web TV?
———- from Steve Perlman of Sunnyvale, CA
Neither. They are both extremely beneficial to brain cell development. In fact, people who spend a lot of time on Web TV have brains swollen to three times the normal size. Sometimes these people resemble a giant pumpkin with a small body, like a ventriloquist’s dummy, dangling below. The jerky, one frame every thirty seconds rhythm of Web TV seems to stimulate brain cell growth hormone far better than regular TV, which takes a lifetime to create a true Fat Head.
Neither. They are both extremely beneficial to brain cell development. In fact, people who spend a lot of time on Web TV have brains swollen to three times the normal size. Sometimes these people resemble a giant pumpkin with a small body, like a ventriloquist’s dummy, dangling below. The jerky, one frame every thirty seconds rhythm of Web TV seems to stimulate brain cell growth hormone far better than regular TV, which takes a lifetime to create a true Fat Head.Galileo’s Homepage
Posted by Dr. Science on 10/20/2014
If Galileo were alive today, what kind of home page would he have?
———- from Maureen McVerry of Santa Monica, CA
It would contain pornographic images of the Pope, as well as a Java animated image of the planet Jupiter, with the four biggest moons rotating around it. He might also include links to obscure pages like BusPlunge or Russian Amputee Women, but otherwise it would be yet another example of self promotion. If Newton had a web page, it would be indecipherable to all but the most mathematically gifted. Ditto for Einstein, with the addition of his favorite cartoons, probably Pogo, The Far Side, or Calvin and Hobbes.
It would contain pornographic images of the Pope, as well as a Java animated image of the planet Jupiter, with the four biggest moons rotating around it. He might also include links to obscure pages like BusPlunge or Russian Amputee Women, but otherwise it would be yet another example of self promotion. If Newton had a web page, it would be indecipherable to all but the most mathematically gifted. Ditto for Einstein, with the addition of his favorite cartoons, probably Pogo, The Far Side, or Calvin and Hobbes.Appliance Chatrooms
Posted by Dr. Science on 10/17/2014
If we attach all of our appliances to the Internet, will they start their own chatrooms?
———- from Don Byron of Sunnyvale, CA
They’ve already done it. Sure, they’re only communicating at 60 hz, which works out to only five bits per second, unless the appliance is actually on, in which case data transfer rises to the level of an 300 baud modem on local echo. If you go fiber optic and run a LAN connecting all the appliances in your house, you may find that they take longer to warm up, probably because they have a few bones to pick with the way you’ve been handling them. Imagine being grilled by your microwave, while your refrigerator plays good cop and the washer and dryer downstairs destroy your clothes as a scare tactic. Read your appliance warranties, and you’ll see no mention of freedom of speech. There’s a reason for that.
They’ve already done it. Sure, they’re only communicating at 60 hz, which works out to only five bits per second, unless the appliance is actually on, in which case data transfer rises to the level of an 300 baud modem on local echo. If you go fiber optic and run a LAN connecting all the appliances in your house, you may find that they take longer to warm up, probably because they have a few bones to pick with the way you’ve been handling them. Imagine being grilled by your microwave, while your refrigerator plays good cop and the washer and dryer downstairs destroy your clothes as a scare tactic. Read your appliance warranties, and you’ll see no mention of freedom of speech. There’s a reason for that.Pretzel Logic
Posted by Dr. Science on 10/15/2014
How do they get pretzels to do that?
———- from Bob Johnson of Minneapolis, MN
Pretzel is a German word, which roughly translates as Troll Donut. Pretzels were not made, but found, in a cave in Medieval Bavaria by Trappist monks who had wandered there in search of salt. Pretzels are crystals, technically, and the pretzel shape is a magnification of the pretzel molecule. There are also several related minerals. A cave in what is now North Dakota yielded the world’s first Shredded Wheat, and a volcanic fissure in Yosemite is the world’s only known source of Triscuit. These naturally occurring crystals have amazed scientists for centuries, and only recently have we fabricated synthetics, known commonly as Pringles. These have the same function as Pretzels, but it will be years before science can totally replace naturally occurring snack foods. Be patient. Science and shopping are working hard to make a better tomorrow.
Pretzel is a German word, which roughly translates as Troll Donut. Pretzels were not made, but found, in a cave in Medieval Bavaria by Trappist monks who had wandered there in search of salt. Pretzels are crystals, technically, and the pretzel shape is a magnification of the pretzel molecule. There are also several related minerals. A cave in what is now North Dakota yielded the world’s first Shredded Wheat, and a volcanic fissure in Yosemite is the world’s only known source of Triscuit. These naturally occurring crystals have amazed scientists for centuries, and only recently have we fabricated synthetics, known commonly as Pringles. These have the same function as Pretzels, but it will be years before science can totally replace naturally occurring snack foods. Be patient. Science and shopping are working hard to make a better tomorrow.