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Nuke Odor
Posted by Dr. Science on 09/08/2014
What is the odor, if any, of nuclear power?
———- from Jenny ofGainesville, Florida
It’s a smell that the nuclear power industry’s house magazine, “Faulty Towers,” describes as “chocolatey.” This same publication refers to cosmic rays as giving off a “cinnamony” aroma and spent plutonium as “lemony fresh.” This is an example of the power of corporations to inform and delight us about the exciting world Science has in store for all of us. So the next time you bite into an artificially flavored and colored food by-product, thank the nuclear power industry for exchanging our bland, real world for a zesty, imaginative one.
It’s a smell that the nuclear power industry’s house magazine, “Faulty Towers,” describes as “chocolatey.” This same publication refers to cosmic rays as giving off a “cinnamony” aroma and spent plutonium as “lemony fresh.” This is an example of the power of corporations to inform and delight us about the exciting world Science has in store for all of us. So the next time you bite into an artificially flavored and colored food by-product, thank the nuclear power industry for exchanging our bland, real world for a zesty, imaginative one. Blind Faith
Posted by Dr. Science on 09/05/2014
How do worms know where they’re going?
———- from George Papadelis ofAnn Arbor, Michigan
They don’t. Worms ? along with most scientists and high-ranking government officials ? operate mainly on blind faith. In addition to being a defunct rock band, Blind Faith is the modus vivendi and operandi for most date poor gestalts or, as we say in America, “guesstimates.” You could come up with a good argument that our entire civilization is modeled after the worm. We bore ahead, blindly, always consuming and always leaving a trail of waste behind us. Those who follow us down the dark tube we call life are forced to crawl in our filth. Yes, you could argue this, although who you’d argue it with is anyone’s guess. Worms prefer silence, anyway.
They don’t. Worms ? along with most scientists and high-ranking government officials ? operate mainly on blind faith. In addition to being a defunct rock band, Blind Faith is the modus vivendi and operandi for most date poor gestalts or, as we say in America, “guesstimates.” You could come up with a good argument that our entire civilization is modeled after the worm. We bore ahead, blindly, always consuming and always leaving a trail of waste behind us. Those who follow us down the dark tube we call life are forced to crawl in our filth. Yes, you could argue this, although who you’d argue it with is anyone’s guess. Worms prefer silence, anyway.Internet Wiretaps
Posted by Dr. Science on 09/03/2014
Is there an easy way I can tell if there’s a Federal wiretap on my Internet account?
———- from Jill Pendergast ofSan Mateo, CA
If your account is tapped, you’ll be able to confirm it if you know what to look for. Be on the lookout for several subtle changes. Has your dial tone been replaced by the sound of an FBI agent belching? Does you telephone service man have the letters ATF on his hat? When you change your password, does someone change it back? Does your E Mail look like something released through the Freedom of Information Act? If so, burn your computer, move to another state, and start over under a pseudonym. The odds are against you, but still, you might shake them if you act early.
If your account is tapped, you’ll be able to confirm it if you know what to look for. Be on the lookout for several subtle changes. Has your dial tone been replaced by the sound of an FBI agent belching? Does you telephone service man have the letters ATF on his hat? When you change your password, does someone change it back? Does your E Mail look like something released through the Freedom of Information Act? If so, burn your computer, move to another state, and start over under a pseudonym. The odds are against you, but still, you might shake them if you act early.Microwaved Hamsters
Posted by Dr. Science on 09/01/2014
If you put a hamster in a microwave oven, would it blow up?
———- from Beavis (R.I.P.) ofMTVland
No, young man, it would “cook,” so to speak, much like a baked potato. As a matter of fact, a microwaved hamster very much resembles a baked potato, both in appearance and taste. In Russia, where microwaves were long used for espionage as much as for cooking, there’s a thriving black market in hamsters, since the Russian vodka demand has driven up the price of potatoes. Some of these hamsters were illegally imported and placed on American tables as part of Russian efforts to “freak out” Americans. So the next time you buy a potato, poke it first to make sure it’s not a rodent. If it squeaks, put it back. And the next time you want a cheap pet, try a potato!
No, young man, it would “cook,” so to speak, much like a baked potato. As a matter of fact, a microwaved hamster very much resembles a baked potato, both in appearance and taste. In Russia, where microwaves were long used for espionage as much as for cooking, there’s a thriving black market in hamsters, since the Russian vodka demand has driven up the price of potatoes. Some of these hamsters were illegally imported and placed on American tables as part of Russian efforts to “freak out” Americans. So the next time you buy a potato, poke it first to make sure it’s not a rodent. If it squeaks, put it back. And the next time you want a cheap pet, try a potato!Mole Meal
Posted by Dr. Science on 08/29/2014
How many worms can a mole eat before he throws up?
———- from Hopalong Norby ofDenver, Colorado
Avogadro’s Number. Yes, moles have a voracious and indiscriminate appetite. They can eat Avogadro’s number of anything ? whether it’s worms, chicken McNuggets or even avocados. The mass of Avogadro’s number of avocados is called a “mole” of avocados. And the mole is full of avocados, that is, until he throws up. This process of bingeing and purging is called the Scientific Method, and it’s what makes science so much different than, say, religion. In many religions, I’m told, you eat a lot of hot air and hold it in. Hope I’ve answered your question and tell the avocado disparagement lawyers to quit calling.
Avogadro’s Number. Yes, moles have a voracious and indiscriminate appetite. They can eat Avogadro’s number of anything ? whether it’s worms, chicken McNuggets or even avocados. The mass of Avogadro’s number of avocados is called a “mole” of avocados. And the mole is full of avocados, that is, until he throws up. This process of bingeing and purging is called the Scientific Method, and it’s what makes science so much different than, say, religion. In many religions, I’m told, you eat a lot of hot air and hold it in. Hope I’ve answered your question and tell the avocado disparagement lawyers to quit calling.