The Human Soul
Despite many operations, my fellow physicians and I have never found the human soul. What does it look like? Where is it? If I should ever meet one, what should I say?
———- from Dr. P.R. of Winston-Salem, NC
The soul lives in the small intestines and varies in size from 3 to 12 inches in height. A good soul flies out of the mouth to heaven, which looks a lot like certain parts of Mexico. A bad soul descends to Hell, which resembles a quadruplex cinema at a shopping mall, all showing a bad print of “Flipper”, “Dune” or perhaps “The Coneheads.” Now a soul in purgatory looks oddly like a Care Bear, and Purgatory itself, of course, resembles a bin in a five and ten cent store. What do you say to a soul? Try “Hello” or “Hey, how’s it going?” But don’t be miffed if the soul clams up on you. A soul is, after all, mostly ectoplasm and spirit and doesn’t have much to offer in the way of conversation. But, then, neither does Flipper, come to think of it.
The soul lives in the small intestines and varies in size from 3 to 12 inches in height. A good soul flies out of the mouth to heaven, which looks a lot like certain parts of Mexico. A bad soul descends to Hell, which resembles a quadruplex cinema at a shopping mall, all showing a bad print of “Flipper”, “Dune” or perhaps “The Coneheads.” Now a soul in purgatory looks oddly like a Care Bear, and Purgatory itself, of course, resembles a bin in a five and ten cent store. What do you say to a soul? Try “Hello” or “Hey, how’s it going?” But don’t be miffed if the soul clams up on you. A soul is, after all, mostly ectoplasm and spirit and doesn’t have much to offer in the way of conversation. But, then, neither does Flipper, come to think of it. 