Wash Separately
Do clothing manufacturers really expect us to run a whole wash for each item marked “wash separately”?
———- from S & M of Napa, CA
Yes, they really do expect this of us. In fact, a little investigation into the matter shows that the big clothing manufacturers also own all the laundromats. Unfortunately, clothing washed separately becomes lonely and neurotic. The most mentally healthy clothing is washed in clear mountain streams, smashed with its comrades upon the sharp rocks. If you’re a city dweller without access to a mountain stream, you could go to Sears and pick up one of those Kenmore washers when they’re on sale or something. Wait until you have a full load of dirty laundry, then wash them all at once. You’ll have happy, well-adjusted clothing and a reasonable laundry bill. All this from just not following directions!
Yes, they really do expect this of us. In fact, a little investigation into the matter shows that the big clothing manufacturers also own all the laundromats. Unfortunately, clothing washed separately becomes lonely and neurotic. The most mentally healthy clothing is washed in clear mountain streams, smashed with its comrades upon the sharp rocks. If you’re a city dweller without access to a mountain stream, you could go to Sears and pick up one of those Kenmore washers when they’re on sale or something. Wait until you have a full load of dirty laundry, then wash them all at once. You’ll have happy, well-adjusted clothing and a reasonable laundry bill. All this from just not following directions! 