Doggie Heaven
Do good dead dogs go to heaven?
———- from Billy Frenzer of Omaha, NE
There is a doggie heaven and there’s a doggie hell, but goodness doesn’t determine where a dog’s final destination lies. According to the writings of the middle ages’ leading canine theologian, Augustine — or Auggie Doggy– goodness simply does not determine salvation. It is, surprisingly the result of predestination. This Calvinist theory suggests that a nasty yapping rug like a Yorshire terrier could wear a halo, while a loveable goofy Irish setter could burn in a forest of eternal damnation. Sure, it’s unfair, but, on the other hand, there is no such thing as a really good dog. If you want a pet that won’t shed or be cast into a lake of unquenchable fire, I’d suggest a goldfish.
There is a doggie heaven and there’s a doggie hell, but goodness doesn’t determine where a dog’s final destination lies. According to the writings of the middle ages’ leading canine theologian, Augustine — or Auggie Doggy– goodness simply does not determine salvation. It is, surprisingly the result of predestination. This Calvinist theory suggests that a nasty yapping rug like a Yorshire terrier could wear a halo, while a loveable goofy Irish setter could burn in a forest of eternal damnation. Sure, it’s unfair, but, on the other hand, there is no such thing as a really good dog. If you want a pet that won’t shed or be cast into a lake of unquenchable fire, I’d suggest a goldfish. 