Morning Scratching

Why do people scratch themselves when they get out of bed in the morning?

———- from Bunny G of Grants Pass OR

Those of us who dream spend our nights surrounded by a web of luminescent phantasmagoria, a gelatinous substance that bears an anatomical resemblance to the chrysalis of a moth. Under ultraviolet light, the connections between this web and the sleeper’s skin are readily apparent. They appear as tiny mouths, sucking in order to maintain their hold, much as a microscopic leech or eel might. Small wonder that dawn finds the dreamer scratching to rid himself of these parasites. If you still find yourself dreamy after a couple cups of coffee, bathe in a dilute solution of carbolic acid and phenol. That’ll wake you right up.