The Element of Surprise
I’ve heard references to the element of surprise. I checked my periodic table and can’t find it. What am I doing wrong?
———- from Kelley West of Mobile AL
The element of surprise is called different things in different countries. In Russia, it’s still known as Leningolova or “Lenin’s Head,” a reference to a statue of Lenin that stood outside the Moscow Technical Institute and has a mildly radioactive head composed entirely of an isotope of what we call “Surprise.” Surprise tends to be all things to all people. A dull, shiny metal, surprise easily dissolves in water and strong coffee. A deadly poison, it readily oxidizes and forms an unsightly green scum on its surface. The United States has banned all manufacture and import of surprise since 1955. If you’ve watched network television, it’s been that long since you’ve been surprised, right?
The element of surprise is called different things in different countries. In Russia, it’s still known as Leningolova or “Lenin’s Head,” a reference to a statue of Lenin that stood outside the Moscow Technical Institute and has a mildly radioactive head composed entirely of an isotope of what we call “Surprise.” Surprise tends to be all things to all people. A dull, shiny metal, surprise easily dissolves in water and strong coffee. A deadly poison, it readily oxidizes and forms an unsightly green scum on its surface. The United States has banned all manufacture and import of surprise since 1955. If you’ve watched network television, it’s been that long since you’ve been surprised, right? 