The Internet and Hair Growth

  Since I have started “surfing” the hair has stopped growing on top of my head and now there is excessive hair growth in both my ears. Also, I have picked up the phone before while “on-line” and heard my computer talking to another computer. I could not understand a thing they were saying to each other. After just a minute of listening the computers stopped talking and hung up on each other. Is there some sort of conspiracy here? Did the computers think I was eavesdropping on them and trying to break their secret language? Is that why they hung up?

———- from Erich Schroeder of Plymouth, Minnesota

  I’ve got to hand it to you, you’re the last true Sensitive, as they used to call poets with a nervous condition that kept them from doing real work. Yes, your computer is cheating on you, professing loyalty to you one moment and the next ridiculing you to the whole web. Buy some Rogaine, take a Dale Carnegie course, and get your life back on track while there’s still time.